I took a train to Lyon. Nah, I don't mind. You're my best friend, ya know? I don't mind.
And sparkles like you do? Purple Silence Joni wasn't happy in Austin so she moved back home. Home When are you coming back home, babe? Always Someone Else Ain't there always someone else? Whose got the right? What will the Spirit do? Annie Annie…Annie…. Revolution Ten beard covered wagons came down from the hills to eat. Come quick, give us hope for peace! Fall down on your knees. Pour another drink! Down to the Pit O Lord, I call to you, come quickly to me. Hear the echo ring. Speak up! Illuminate their plans.
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Mozelle I met Mozelle in the twenty-second year of my life. Sweet By and By Sanford F. Baby, I just been missing you. The Jesus Song I was sitting on my porch last evening singing songs and feeling high. What if love is trust, and trust is pain. In order to love , you have to trust. Trust that it is love and not lust. Receding Affection. The effect of your affection is wearing out You shouldn't have waited so long Kept him wondering if to you he belongs Only for the agony to prolong The place has turned vacant, yet.
Growing Pains. Like a small seed beginning to sprout from the soil A story of many chapters begins The plot of a life's story cannot spoil As the small, naive child widely grins. Your Eyes. For J. The Moon from my bed. Love sucks. Love sucks Scars are just a Lesson. Jagged Pages. Growing Pain. How one looks back At the clouded idea of what has happened Defines how the future will unfold Pain That used to be scraped knees Or a break up with the one you thought was "the one". To the no longer child. I hate the rain. It's cold and unforgiving fall keeps me from fun.
The weight of it when it falls from my eyes is to heavy for my heart to carry. Like Her. Her arms wrapped tightly around me, Her charming southern accent, And the way she looked at everyone with love in her heart. Growing Up. Being a kid was just the start Everything was a work of art Life was stress free with no worries at all Having fun all day long Dancing with the wind like a song. Train Ride Calls. November 19th am. November 19, , at in the morning, my heart was broken and restored, all in the same moment in time.
That night is imprinted in my memory, and on my hip, in stark black ink. False Love's Kiss. I See. I see the world differently. I grow taller and everything is smaller, But truly the world seems bigger And badder. The world is a mess. How can I do anything to make it better? Another Day. Crossing the days until I reach May,I fall into endless sleep and unreal dreams. Stray today, stay away, to myself I say. I wake up to the sky with clouds of greyAnd. From There to Here and Back. A boy little more than three seeing the world, With a Soldier and a Mother by his sides.
This little boy nothing but what he was told, But he knew he was leaving home while flying over the tides. You are no longer at my side. You are gone, the one who promised me you were here to stay. I mourned in the weeds, damaged and broken. Strength lost. Sunlight producing no more color for me. My undefined pain. Have You? There are different types of pain Good Morning Affirmation. Waking up to my truths - even the flaws are gorgeous I get obsessive and I get insecure. Sometimes I find myself unbalanced, quickly unraveling at the folds.
I may occasionally lose touch, or fall out of love. This morning I took a hike on a trail I once considered my stomping grounds when I was a child, and the reality set in. At the beginning of the year, I met a man named poison Who looked at me and killed my sanity. Your Strife Gave Me Life. You fail to realize the destruction seen in my tears, Of everything you put me through in my adolescent years. Finding it hard to see past the drink; Never taking the time to reconsider and to think.
I'm Not Fine. Death Is. Humble Pain. Fire under my skin Climbing up my legs My spine My arms Glowing coals of hate Incendiary suffering Deep inside my bones. Blackness surrounds me I can feel my peace call As it hears my plea At last the night will fall. Grief that Made Me Grow. A crack resounds from the soul of the earth. A Weeded Heart. Guilt blooms in my chest like an unwelcomed garden. But luckily I chose to weed them out before they had any chance to stay and wind around my heart.
Just Talk. But I can't bring myself to. You see, it hurts you when you know. I loved you with all I had, And you made my life worth living, I was sure that we would last, But obviously I was wrong. I loved you with all I had,. What Will You Tell Me? If I've fallen and I can't get up will you save me? Will you help me to stay strong? Will you tell me. Get rid of the pain. No need to be a surgeon. Open your heart wide. Rip your pain away. And if no soul can help carrying it, Put it somewhere, Anywhere, But elsewhere. Put it beneath rhymes and similes.
Fool Me Twice. I fell in love once, It was a wonderful feeling, I felt like I was loved, Like I mattered, Like someone in the world cared about me. I was so broken. The Moon, Cruel as Always. A Story of Love and Loss. He loved not once but twice, And both times it ended badly, Both times he paid the price And his story ends sadly. He was young and untested,. I think God sleeps on Enceladus The Spark. I fear I have lived far too much life in far too little time. In my 16 years I have loved and died and been revived more times than one could possibly count.
I am the bolt of lightning, Shocking, fast, and gone in an instant. I create a smoking crater, But of who left it I leave no hint. I am the stormy ocean,. My Beasts. I live with evil creatures in my soul, I have to fight to keep control. They yell and scream to be let out, And then they punish me after every bout. Big Brother. Stained Red. Summer of Mother I hated to watch you while you stood Back then, age 9, I knew what was going on. Always falling for the man of sophistication and. Shadows line my concrete walls, Reaching out, They pull at my knotted hair,.
To all the ones I ever loved, I felt the sting of your betrayal. I felt the love you claimed to have. I know how much time you had to put into building you're mask. Through The Sky. Through the sky Death shall rise, On rotten wings will he fly. With the stench of torture on his clothes, He sends Fear into all his foes.
Scars Haiku. Whenever I'm pained The scars on my thighs swell up To blood red that's raised. Bleed Haiku. I wish that I could Learn to bleed every night But soon I'll run out. Pillow Talk. Missing You. How ironic it is, I remember the sight of you, I hear the timbres of your voice.
How ironic it is, That life gave you to me, Before snatching you away. The Church Across the Street. The Bell-tower taunts me when I look out my bedroom window. Saints who sin are loved more than me. Their audience comes in droves to the sounds of bells! I hear them ringing. I go numb with fear. You are my Everything. Knock, Knock, Knock Time to play with her,.
A Rose Thrown out to Sea. Carrion Moon. The Moon is Frowning. Satisfied With Me. Thunder and Lightning. The shocking electric pulse, Flowing through my veins. I drop a single bolt,. My life is an infinite number of scars, Marring the planet upon which I walk. Some were caused by others,. Symphony of My Life. My life is one great symphony, So listen to its melody. The drumbeat is my heartbreak, The violins are my sorrow, The low brass proclaims my rage,.
I let go. Deaf but Not Dumb. Those voices I hear in the hallways, Somehow always used to torment me. Cruel words escaped their lips. Poison vowels and sounds, Yet I was taught they were good. I was born this way When You Look At Me. When you look at me, what do you see? I'm a girl who's full of Humanity. I'm someone who fights for what's right, And does no harm so I can sleep at night.
Do you see who I am? Do you really see,. Pain To End All Pain. My heart yearns for a love unchanging. Aches from a fear unfading. I wake and fail before day ever begins. Begging for an end to all the pain I feel. Engulfed in a searing dryness from those meant to help me. Status: Now Hating Candy. Let me tell you of the week I grew up. No, not physically but mentally and emotionally. The physical age does not matter; what matters is that the week before I loved candy. Elegy for Myself.
Ode to the girl that died insideOf meMy best friend tells me to conjureUp her dead soul and shake handsWith herBut it would be like misery isshaking hands with sunshine and flowersHow oddOdd,. The pain he leaves you with is not your identity. I'm Just Kidding. Dear Friendship,. Dear Friendship, Why do you make me so happy? Why do you make me so confused? Why do you make me feel lost? Why so happy? Why so sad? Why so angry? Dear Love,. One Day One day One day you wake up; You open your eyes. Everything blurs; Everything turns black and white.
Ash surrounds your senses; All you feel is numb, Numb pain,. It was always happy endings, But this one seemed so different Knowing that you wouldn't be here anymore I never thought I could stomach the pain Hurting days and nights. My mother taught me valuable things. She taught me to treat everyone as equals whether they clean the toilets or sit in a shiny new office on the top floor.
You Are Gone. Leaving Her. Grace be that flower and how she glistens. Your eyes sift along and you don't see truth, It's not about the grace but who listens. She will need you to see through to the youth;. The Education of Pain. It always hurts me. But pursuing love is like trudging my heart through a lee. I can't help desires. They will come from deep inside, With no way to hide. I don't wish to disgrace them, But only to keep them calm. Rudy Valle. My Old Life. I just want my old life back, I had everything I wanted A job that I adored, A hobby that brought immeasurable joy, And a love that seemed unshakeable.
I live with a creature Deep inside my chest. This beast urges me to die,. Almost Pass For Normal. Painful Division. When did my feelings become second to yours? Why are my opinions wrong and absurd? When did my silence become your turn to speak? Why, to you, am I small and weak? Why, when I give the world, do you a. This is an ode to the boys who have hurt me.
I will not talk about the ones who came before the ninth grade,. Secret place. Hands held, hearts cradled. Eyes shut, fear of loss and pain. It all came to head that day. Back to the beginning,. Leaving the Shadow. Now she's the girl he told everyone about, bragging, changing, manipulating the reality of what really happened.
She got stripped of her clothes, stripped of her trust, stripped of her youth. Finally, I'm free from you free from the pain you give free from the anger you clinged to me free from the hate of what you've done to me free from the fear you've bestowed me. Forgiving Myself. Every day flying by numbly, Until the day I decided the numbness coincided with failing to forgive myself I went under it, over it, around it, but never through it because that is where.
House of a Monster. That person is you. That's what it means To concede to the fear, To feed the bearer, To bleed from the wounds, bestowed on you from the pain you've taken even the words you've spoken to make it all better. I am a victim. I am a victim of my own mind. I hold myself captive. I am also my own abuser. For years I have abused myself into being the victim of my own mind.
I Am A Warrior. You can't hear me You can't see me You can't feel me You have given birth to me But you ignore me I am alive! Not your dearly departed And yet still to you I am a failure, forever imperfect. My Curse. They say god created us from clay. Still Lost. Silver Sight. Why am I the only one? Why don't they give up?
Painful Christmas. This holiday is hollow, These cheery ones are lost. Everyone is happy, It seems Everyone But me. I always feel alone,. Pain and Life Diamante. Pain Infinite, unbearable, Pulsing, living, screaming, Yelling my name, begging to stay, Fighting, questioning, hating, Confusing, lost,. Dark and Light. Both had their qualities, I loved them for different reasons. The dark one was like me,. The Turtle. I was given a gift by someone I truly loved, A little green turtle, Something I could put on my key ring. She had one too, And it made our love grow stronger,. Through the darkness There shall always be light While through the joy There shall always be fright But through the pain There is nothing but might.
The Cold, Dark Pool. My day goes by, all a blurry haze. I'm slowly drowning in a cold, dark pool. People pass by, reaching out thier hands. Scared of Love. I was in love once, And a painful ordeal it was. I tried so hard to be the perfect one, To be the one that she wanted. Fallen Angel. I am a fallen angel, Darkness is my garment, And fury is my weapon.
I was once wreathed in light, And I did the bidding of my master. Move On. Darkness is around me, I am hidden from the light, The life that I strive to live in. There was once a Bright Star, It penetrated the dark. Lost Twice. It happened twice. I let myself believe. I thought that I might matter.
I loved and lost, And was broken eternally. This is Me. They say my writing is expansive It's alot to say When been through a life of tragedy And empty space The thoughts in my head you can never see Cause your never me Sometimes tears fall on these pages. Do you know the pain? What I'm suffering now Do you know how my head spins? When I'm constantly thinking about you Do you know the love?
I have poured on you Do you know the stuggle? From My Window. You watched me from my window and took out your anger on my body with your eyes. He shook me furiously and the thunder shook the house surrounding my fragile skeleton. They see reaching arms. Pain and Me. I can feel the pain sucking marrow from my bone leaving a blinding headache behind wishing for the pain to stop Yearning for the ache to fade Hoping for a moment of bliss To come and wrap me in a hug. World of Dreams. Fear is Not to Be Run From.
A tight emptiness in my throat A quick consideration of options but endlessly told to say nothing Youth does not hide the terror in trying or the knife swallowed as i do nothing. Scarlet Ribbons. Someone Save Me. Someone save me from this pain, It keeps me trapped inside my brain. Pay attention to the sunlight, the sunlight is the most warm, visible radiation of all.
Down, down into the darkness it goes- the hot, the tender, the close. Her face is broken with tears, Her heart is shattered with grief. Holding no sympathy, his face was blank. His heart is cold and dark. Love destroyed them,. Letters bleeding bodily into blank sheets Whispering wildly in her mind Flowing creatively through the ink Mind forgetting the outside world Only imagining the one within Wishing wholeheartedly to go. Holes In Souls.
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It always seems like something's missingFrom my hollow lifeAnd I appreciate the kissingBut there's a hole insideI'm looking for the thing to fill itThe missing fucking pieceSomething has to fit. Common Pain. A Voice. Fear, Find the ones that you hold dear. Fear, Keep them safe for I am near. Fear, You are the useless broken seer. Where are My Angels? These demons always plague me, They keep me in constant torment. Where could the angels be? The demons only get riled,. Everyone has demons, But mine are different. They feed on my pain, And play with my sanity.
They jump from shoulder to shoulder,. Every time I close my eyes, A star explodes inside my mind. This exploding star,. The Beast Inside. This demon in my head, It fills me with hatred And fuels my pain. It denies me sanity, And reminds me of my loss. It plays back my memories,. Black Hole. My life is a black hole, Sucking in everything around it. Even light cannot escape my darkness, Even those that I love cannot withstand it. Someone Else. She was always by my side, And she took away my pain.
She fixed all of my brokenness That was trapped inside my brain. She shone brighter than a star,. Something New. I am a tortured human soul, The world would be better, If I go. None More. Slow dancing to Sam Cooke under the mountaintop stars, Cooking creamy chicken parmesan alfredo Saturday night While hearing the pot singing and sizzling. Laughing until our insides crumble in pain,.
You hide behind hills, Curves of rock snaking up, Strangling The lakes and rivers-- Your tears. And the blades of grass, a fine-woven net To catch, To cut, To keep. You are not really there. Everything but Nothing. I never know what you are. Because every time I see you, it hurts a little less.
You are everything and nothing Everywhere and no where I never know what you are. I get thoughts. A lot. They crawl slowly through your brain. They take there sharp fingers and grind them into the flesh of your brain. Whats wrong with me? I cried and cried I'm gonna die. Die this way, There is no cure for my pain, Four new doctors, They're all the same.
The X-rays are normal. EMG too. These Fucking Memories. They slip;. She Was There. And when I needed you the most, there you stood with her in my place. All You Have Left. Silent, Loner. Empty, hollow. Childs Pose. I ignored it. What a terrible word that holds a painful truth. I dread these six letters, as anyone would. Your Requiem.
The first thing my mother did, when a boy broke my heart, was open the windows. She said that letting in the air, and erasing his smell. Monday Blues. I could hear the wind, rustling through your veins, when you opened your mouth and the gnarled wings of a hummingbird fell out. I could taste the regret,. Tears of Fear. I slept hard as a bear That eats so much food in a dark cave, What no one notices all the time, My ears can hear, but I have weary tears; Beyond the walls, there is so much fear,. I love to dance But it's been corrupted And corroded And with every twist and turn I fall deeper into a world Of my own.
The Pain I Feel. You're mind is scarred. An Apology. I am sorry that my decisions led you to today. Capable fears. And whilst my voice they won't hear and my face they may not see,. Why pick? Lady of Silver. There is no denying it, she was first I imagine her next to you, your arm wrapped around her As it had once been wrapped around me Sometimes I wish I were a less kind soul.
Christmas: a tiny holy thingy blinking strings tie often streetpoles redded hands in boiling coffee not in mates palms smile holds a teeth holes sauced up by dentist. I'm Fine. I lie awake thinking While staring at my ceiling About so many things To name a few: my day Tomorrow The paint chip on The wall. Let the aroma, the sweet intoxication, of the lilies take you away. Their white petals, beckoning, follow them. Just a reconnection. Please, it is all I ask. Just one spark could set ablaze our past.
We could be something again. Yeh Dil Mera! Dhundhane Ek Hi Pataa.. Shayad Tumhe Dhundte Dhundte.. Zindgi Ki Ye. Cutting a Little Too Deep. I Weakened Myself for You. I weakened myself for you. You heard me crying out for help but you acted like you could not hear. Somewhere before sunrise,before the first bird crows to dawnand the apathetic are yet to uncurlthe grit that gathers like dustbetween the fold of shallow eyes. Thorny Rose Bush. Clock is ticking…mind is wracking…thoughts are racing….
May, The Devil's Apple. And just like the serpent tempted Adam and Eve with the forbidden apple, the burning desire for you to be mine led me into your coils of damnation. Insane, Pain, Strain. I Love You Differently Now. The Lonely Boy. Death says to meCome here my boy,I'll take you away I think, "I can finally flee"I am not playing coyThe pain will go away. I hope nobody trusts you againlike I did you I pray you never hurt another personlike you did me You carved into my soulAnd have taken peicesThey will never grow back.
Thy Torn Skin. This letter is me saying goodbye. To Her. Fragility is the stability of the broken mind Do not confuse the lies that hold the two down To be fragile is the empowerment of the vulnerable To be stable is the advantage of the emotional. Do you bleed? Goodmorning Honey. Goodmorning honey, so they say distant at heart..
Into A Fantasy Inspired by the song. Why Me? A teenager who is misunderstood by those who think they understand. Disturbed Emotions. Belov'ed Silver. Precious to me is he who's friendship is geater in value than any metal. He who suffers the pangs of loneliness, self-mutilation of failure, stings of two unrequited loves, labido's growling stomach,.
The Broken Spirits. Late at night, the broken spirits sit on barstools, hunched over the counter like question marks They ponder their place in this world They drown their sorrows in bourbon to escape the outer flood attempting to engulf them. Not A Game. Why is my mind so. Why is my mind so blank? The colors that flash before my eyes, they mean almost nothing to me anymore I used to dance in the soft orange of a sunset wade in the blue waters of the distant ocean. I'll Never Know. I miss the memories I never made and I long for the love. Colors of Pain.
There will be times when things between us might not feel so sweet. Those moments we look back on, wishing we could press delete. I might find myself tripping, when I only meant to sweep you off of your feet. You want to love me but. You don't love me. You want to love mebut You don't love me. The Alternative. Our Society. Could You. Dreams die at an early age When you would rather support a celebrity, a stranger, other than your own children. When you can't make it to a parent teachers conference, To hear your child's accomplishments. In The Midst Of Night.
People are not all that they seem, streams of lowered self-esteem. Darkness running through and through, constantly running into you. My play-doh set. My brown barrette. My high top shoes. My young views. My dirty shirts. My elbow hurts. My parents yelling. My lips never telling. Flowers Bloom. The water runs clear, and once it reaches bottom, it blooms into a pink flower. The slight sting of the water it welcomed, any pain is welcomed. The scars run deep through this tattooed. The Baltimore I Know.
Old roads and new hoes, you know how this essay goes. Crime rampant on the streets. Homeless men, calloused feet. Overdoses, opiates. Young people with too much hate. Gun violence, death from crime. Because I Because I am a nice person,I will mother and worry over you.
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Because I am a nice person,I will let you have your way. Because I am a nice person,I will let it slide. Because I am a nice person,. There you go again. Leaving me behind. Take me with you! No, don't take me. Not this time. I yearn, And when you finally offer, I reject. Because if I accept,. I try to run up it with every ounce of speed but then I trip and then I fall. Gravitating backwards she declines,Liquefying to earth's compression's,Ruined but intertwined,Cannot bypass innocent transgression. Undescribable pain, Writhing hands and feet, Radiating ove ones self, Yet it feels like nothing.
Crying with no tears, Clawing at the flesh, Yet it comes from within,. The Phone Call. Mom- Yes Imani. I- I have something to say. Mom- Yes Imani what is it. Pain Glennon Doyle Melton. They told you time would heal. That eventually you'd make progress. So you carry on. Sometimes you go days, weeks without crumbling. A year ago Loss turned grief took you from me Today. And then three years later and look at us now.. Man nothing ruins a relationship quicker than doubt. Used to say you were so confident in what we had. Learning Your Name. You creeped inside my mind, in one instance and over time.
You hid inside my brain, and I wore a mussel of your shame. Core workout. My heart and soul cry out These trials bring me strength I will supplement my life With scripture and song Praying God will use this To build empathy and wisdom Instead of jadedness and despair.
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Prom Night. MAybe I am made of glass And perhaps I am too reflective And perhaps each time I shatter across the floor in shards of failure I bring us more bad luck. My Pain. Can you feel my pain? Toy Soldier. My sister used a quarter in a machine the other day, one that drops random surprises, mostly worthless but still they are kept, for reasons unbeknownst by most As the claw picked up a ball, stale candy joining the fall.
The Carnival Years.
The mirror cries long tears to the bus station Her feet draw their mottled shapes on the Pavement It is wet and cold. In my mouth, there lies elegant blood. A girl with eyes like jewels Thought it would be the coolest thing when she switched schools She was eager to see new faces Because her old school picked on her, belittled her, and was racist. Lo and behold, inside of me in a crooked corner that plays hymns of once spoken words and memories, there lies a prophecy Encased in glass to be broken in bed positioned moments of convincing.
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With You, From You. Our Bond. Breathe One, two, three I am a happy daughter Who loves her mother Not a hint of loathing to be found Exhale That was a lie The breeze feels so much nicer Smile so much